24's Day 6 starts Today

In honor of tonight being day 6 of season 6, I give you some Jack Bauer thoughts found at various searches on Google and the internet:

• In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"

• The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

• If you’re holding a gun to Jack Bauer’s head, don’t count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.

• Jack Bauer’s calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

• 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

• Jack Bauer once called the Vice President "Mr. President", but realized his mistake and shot the President. Jack Bauer is never wrong.

• Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

• If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

• If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's freakin' beef.

• When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."

• When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

• Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

• Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

• Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

• When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

• Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

• If everyone on 24 followed Jack's instructions, it would be called 12.

Beep...Beep...Beep